So… I finally get to host the Carnival of Comedy, and it's during the week we move across town. No problem… I can handle it. Except - I unexpectedly have to work out of town for four days, including the day I'm supposed to host the Carnival. So that's why this is late. 

I attempted to have a theme - Who Should Buy Mexico? Didn't work out too well, so I'll have to try it myself soon. 

Thanks to SpaceMonkey and IMAO for the opportunity which I squandered. Want to host a carnival? Email Spacemonkey -at- IMAO.US. Did you know IMAO has a podcast? The last one was three months ago - that's how hard they work to ensure quality for you, the listener.

Here's the rating system:
* Look! You got a star!
** Heh
*** LOL
**** LMAO

And now teh funny: 

** Mr. Right has re-written Don McLean's American Pie as Ms. American Spy, and it seems to be as long as the original, which DJs would play when they needed to take a crap. Since I'm running behind and ADD, I only made it through the first hundred stanzas or so, but it was pretty clever, even though it had no reference to Who Should Buy Mexico. I didn't get far enough to verify that he rates it NSFW, so now I feel cheated. I bet that part was worth at least three stars, though.

*** Suldog has written a recipe for a special kind of enchilada, and it apparently involves hallucinogens. The writing, not the recipe. Did you know enchiladas come from Antarctica? Me either. Also rated NSFW, although how that applies to text, I don't know. Do some people have to share monitors with their coworkers? Enchiladas remind me of Mexicans.

** Miriam is starting a new charitable organization, and understands how to sell it to the MSM. She makes good points, just not exactly comedy. How about a charitable organization to buy Mexico?

*** Speaking of the Mainstream Media, Don Surber has the true story of a fanatic pissed at being passed over for al-Qaeda promotion. Be brave, little fanatic! We hope there's another opening soon. NSFW, if you read it out loud. Don apparently doesn't care about the Mexicans.

*** Damian G. at Conservathink presents French stock market plummets as Jerry Lewis suffers "mild" heart attack. Yay! Sarcasm directed at the French. But what about sarcasm directed at Mexico, Damian?

* The blue square presents The Blue Square Investigates Furniture posted at The Order of the Blue Square. I get accused of this from time to time (although it obviously doesn't apply right now, Saturday morning, two days after the Carnival is supposed to be posted), so take my word that the blue square staff has way the hell too much time on their hands. Why not work on Who Should Buy Mexico?

* Lisa at Lil' Duck Duck presents The end of the duck & fried carpet??!  A cautionary tale, funny if you're a parent, except that it brings back bad memories of grease on the giant stuffed Dora the Explorer, at least for me. I contributed to the duck fund, although it's money that I could have used to buy Mexico.

*** Jon Swift presents The Retirement of Bill Gates from Microsoft Is No Big Deal. Pretty funny, especially if you work with geeks, which I am do. Obviously, Bill Gates could buy Mexico when he retires.

* Robert Levin presents Stupidity: Its Uses & Abuses. Ever meet someone that can pack a 5-minute conversation into an hour? Robert, apparently inspired by Chaucer, who was paid by the word, if memory serves, watches one of those people shave every morning. In the Superman zeitgeist, super-villians exist because superheroes do. Robert, it's possible there are so many stupid people in the world because you are so intelligent. Social science demands that you perform an experiment in which you move to a small country, where, if my theory holds true, you will quickly become the only intelligent person, yet live a frustrated life of not being recognized as such, and continue to receive poor service, and be misunderstood when you exercise your wit.

* Peace Moonbeam presents Bad News posted at The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles. I had to read a few other posts to try to make sense of this. Sadly, I was forced to move on with my life before enlightenment occurred.

*** Vox Poplar & John Murtha at Vox Poplar is Right About Everything & Don't You Forget It! presents Murtha Knows Best & Don't You Forget It!  To be honest, the third star is for making fun of Murtha.

* Chris Carlisle presents I didn't bother to think up a title, either posted at The Dimmer Switch. He phones one in about not having anything to write about. I can understand posting it on your site, but submitting it to the Carnival? Hey, Chris - Who Should Buy Mexico?

*** Morg presents Dan Rather's New Gig posted at Morgnet. Photoshop phunny!

** AbbaGav presents Al-Zahar Needs Cash, Time for Hamas 4-1-9? Hamas fundraisers hire Nigerian contractors. NSFW. 

*** Jennie von Eggers at Creative Homeschooling presents Satirical Silly -Warning HOT Coffee! More Photoshop phun. Here's some homework for the kiddies, Jennie - Who Should Buy Mexico?

No Score - Jerry Dante at Jerry Dante presents Baseball vs. Football. It's not plagiarized, but it's a George Carlin classic. Jerry wins the "Link-Whore of the Week" award, the slut.

*** FIAR at Radioactive Liberty presents The Things That Really Matter. Graphic sarcasm, NSFW.

So there you have it - not one bit of help for our friends south of the border. Thanks for nothing, guys!