Acme Anvil Co. - This Ain't Exactly Rocket Science

30th July 2006

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night, and She Was Hot

Every year at this time the Department of English & Comparative Literature at San Jose State University announces the winners of its annual "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" in which people submit the worst opening paragraph they can concoct. The contest is named for Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who, in his 1830 book, Paul Clifford made literary history when he wrote: "It was a dark and stormy night …"

This year's winner was Jim Guigli, who wrote:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

copied verbatim from Mullings

posted in Humor | 0 Comments

23rd July 2006

Road Trip!

Well, we had been promising our older daughter, Sarah, that we would take her to stay with her Aunt Beth in South Carolina, and decided to visit my father-in-law and sister along the way.

I planned the route with Microsoft MapPoint 2004, and had anticipated a little under 2000 miles, and hopefully a little less than 100 gallons of gas. We wound up using 98.4 gallons of gas, according to the van's trip computer (2004 Chevy Venture). We also traveled 2185 miles, and averaged 53 MPH and 22.2 miles per gallon. I didn't keep track of gas prices, but they ranged from about $2.85 per gallon in many places to just under $3, in South Carolina.

On Saturday, we drove to my father-in-law's home in Germantown TN - 319 miles. Sunday morning, we took BethAnn to a minor care clinic for her swimmer's ear, and didn't get on the road until after noon. I intended to make it at least to Cookville or possibly past Knoxville for the night, but then we hit a traffic jam west of Nashville - 20 miles in two hours. We finally made it past Nashville to Lebanon, around 6pm. 229 miles, a lot less than I hoped for the day. Stayed at the Comfort Suites, very nice; full breakfast including sausage, biscuits and gravy, as well as cereal, bagels, etc.

I added 50 miles and a 30-minute stop by detouring to JR Cigars in Statesville, NC, but it was worth it. To Beth's house at Ft. Mill, SC was 423 miles, and we got there well before dark. Yes, I smoked a cigar on the back deck. Both nights, first the Hoyo then the JR Ultimate. We stayed an extra day - Lynn, Sarah and Beth went shopping while BethAnn and I read and watched Beauty and the Beast about five times and went for a nice walk.

Wednesday morning we said goodbye to Sarah and headed southwest. We stopped at Cleveland, GA for an hour or so, then spent the afternoon and night in Helen. About 250 miles according to MapPoint, but that doesn't include trying to find a store that carried Floam, which we had promised BethAnn. That was at least another 50 miles, and no one had any. We stayed at the Comfort Inn, which was pretty nice, althought it just had a continental breakfast. I guess in Europe they don't believe in meat at breakfast. Personally, I don't think it counts as a meal unless something died.

Thursday, we eschewed driving the back roads across northern Georgia and northern Alabama, and instead went to my sister Ann's home in Madison, AL by way of Atlanta and Birmingham, via interstate. MapPoint says it's 330 miles, about a hundred miles further than the back roads, but roughly the same amount of time. We found some Floam along the way. We stayed an extra day in Madison, too. The girls went shopping while I read and napped. Sometime during the afternoon, it rained, dropping the temperature to 90 or so - so I smoked a cigar on the back deck, although it was sweltering. This one was a Bolivar Fuerte that I'd brought from home.

Saturday was the longest day yet - over 500 miles, but BethAnn was in a good mood before lunch, and slept at least 3 hours after. Lynn slept at least an hour, too. Lynn kept telling me I could smoke a cigar in the car if I just cracked a window - she knows it's relaxing for me. I tried a Romeo y Julieta Reserve Maduro Petite (the size of a cigarette) (also brought from home) somewhere along the way, during and after a rest stop, but even though Lynn and the girls said it didn't bother them, I couldn't enjoy myself. So… no stogies on the road. We got home around dark, after ten hours on the road. Or eight days…

I'll do the math for you - we sat in the car a little more than 41 hours over the course of eight days. I had just returned from a week of training customers in Abilene, 350 miles west, hurrying to get ready Friday night for the trip on Saturday. I now understand the expression "I need a couple of days off to recover from my vacation!" So, we stayed home today - no Sunday School or church, just chilling. I keep hearing a cigar calling my name… poor lonesome things.

Some observations:

  • Video players in cars are great ideas, but ours is hooked into the sound system. BethAnn (our 3-yr-old) had painful swimmer's ear for the first 5 days of the trip, and couldn't use the headphones, so I had to listen to hours of Care Bears, etc.
  • Removable seats are great. We had plenty of room for snacks, trashcan, etc.
  • Choice Hotels is a nice company. My Mensa membership gives me a 20% discount, and all I had to do was call and ask for a hotel in the area, and had a reservation within minutes.
  • The Cabbage Patch Kids are still alive and well - we stopped at their "hospital" in Cleveland GA and watched one being "born." Handmade Cabbage Patch Kids are over $200. Fortunately, BethAnn just wanted a piece of candy…
  • Helen Georgia is a neat little Bavarian-looking town, but only on the outside of the stores. Inside, there's not much to distinguish it from any other tourist area. Nice folks, though. Lots of family-type activities which we skipped.
  • Traffic jams are hot. I sent this post from the road, in a construction area in Georgia. The outside temperature shows 129 degrees, but that's because we started moving. While idling along a few minutes before, it read 131 degrees!
  • JR Cigars needs a professional merchandiser for their outlet malls, at least the one in Statesville. When you first walk in, it's not very impressive. It looked like all the nice stuff was around the walls. The walk-in humidor is awesome, though - biggest I've ever seen, (Stafford & Jones, in Richardson, TX has the whole store humidified, but it's a fourth the size) with an incredible selection. I picked up a half-dozen Hoyo Excalibur 1066s and a half-dozen JR Ultimate Cabinet Selections, a few humidification thingies for the trip, and a "cigar bobken," a device that either converts a cupholder to a cigar ashtray, or hangs itself on a door. It has a holder for a full-size cigar, and I have no idea what "bobken" means. 
  • For long trips, I prefer Interstates to regular highways.
  • Next long trip, I'll have one of the new GPS navigation devices. A friend has one, and it's priceless when you need to change your route while driving.
  • My dad always liked to stop at MacDonalds - he said the food was just average, but you always know what you're going to get. I think that applies to Cracker Barrel also, except that the food is great. Costs about twice as much, of course.
  • I figured mountain driving would really cut in the fuel economy when I saw the instantaneous readout drop to 15MPG on a long climb, but then I noticed that it would read 99MPG on long descents. A trip to Dallas will usually yield around 24MPG, so 22.8 is pretty good.

  

posted in Personal | 3 Comments

23rd July 2006

"I hate England, and shall never return to those infidels. No - wait…"

Hate-spewing Muslim cleric leaves England just ahead of deportation, swears never to go back.

Problem - he went to Lebanon, where they're doing what he's been wanting for years, and it's dangerous! Now he wants to come back to England… read it all at Captain's Quarters.

posted in Jihadistan, War on Islamo-Fascism | 3 Comments

23rd July 2006

Books, Bikes, Boomsticks… and Bikinis

Tamara's got a pretty interesting blog, being a pretty girl who both enjoys - and can talk intelligently about - motorcycles and firearms. Plus, she's sarcastic. 

In response to some searches on her site, she "dredges up" the old bikini picture, which fits the alliterative title, and can only help…

posted in Firearms, Internet | 0 Comments

20th July 2006

Traffic Jams are Hot

Just east of Alabama on I-20, moving about 10 MPH in a construction area. Makes you feel sorry for motorcyclists!

posted in From the Field | 0 Comments

7th July 2006

Twenty Facts About Islam Every Liberal Should Know (Then Maybe They'd See Sense)

This was a comment on this post, signed by "religion of pieces." I have no idea who the author actually is. 


Twenty facts about Islam every liberal should know. (Then maybe they'd see sense)

Islam …

  1. Is a mind-control and information-control cult founded by a murderer, torturer, brigand, rapist and pedophile called Mohammed. The mind-control and information-control aspects require that all criticism be silenced.
  2. Is Mohammed's personality cult. Has no foundations other than Mo's murderous rantings (Koran and Hadith). The Koran consists of two conflicting parts - Meccan and Medinan (peaceful and violent resepectively). The Medinan stuff supersedes ('abrogates') the Meccan stuff. Muslims act Medinan, but quote Meccan verses to the gullible infidels.
  3. Claims to worship the same God as Christians and Jews, but in fact worships Allah - a demonic manifestation of Mohammed's pyschopathic ego. The Death Cult mixes garbled versions of Christian and Jewish scriptures with pagan practices such as moon and meteorite-worship, and cut-throat blood sacrifice of animals and non-believers.
  4. Has no rational, philosophical nor theological basis, and the whole belief-system is contradicted by science, philosophy, commonsense, human decency and internal inconsistency.
  5. Cannot withstand rational criticism. Can only spread and maintain itself by ignorance, illiteracy, war, terrorism, and intimidation. Islam has bloody borders and cannot co-exist peacefully with other belief systems. Winston Churchill said that Islam in a man is as dangerous as hydrophobia (rabies) in a dog.
  6. Has a superstitious dread of images of pigs, crosses, Buddhas, Saint George (and his flag) and of course Motoons.
  7. Regards Islamic women as semihuman. Wife-beating, incest and child abuse (including mufa’khathat or 'thighing' - the ritual abuse of infants) are encouraged.
  8. Regards all unbelievers (Kaffirs, Kuffar, Kufrs, Kafirs) as ritually unclean subhumans to be killed, subjugated, enslaved, exploited or parasitised. Kafirs are described by the Arabic word 'najis' - literally 'filth'. That's why Muslim hatred of Kafirs is intrinsic to their 'religion'. A Kafir doesn't need to do anything to offend a Muslim, his very existence is enough of an affront.
  9. The ethical system applies only to Muslims. Allah encourages rape, pillage, extortion and enslavement of non-Muslims. Morality does not extend beyond the global gang (ummah). Muslim ethics are the ethics of the Mafia.
  10. Allah's followers are motivated by hatred, greed and lust. There is no love, mercy or compassion. Allah is vindictive, unpredictable, capricious and devious - "Allah leads astray whom he pleases".
  11. The only religion NOT founded on The Golden Rule. Morality is based on Mohammed's example. If Mohammed did it then it's OK for all Muslims. Hence the encouragement of rape, pillage, subjugation and murder of non-believers and the institutionalised pedophilia prevalent thoughout Muslim society (justified by Mohammed's activities with Ayesha, his child sex-slave).
  12. All human relations are defined by Dominance/Subjugation. Muslims have schizoid inferiority/superiority complexes. (A well-balanced Muslim is one with a chip on each shoulder). They respect strength but despise compromise as weakness. Appeasement invites more aggression. The only political system which has been strong enough to subjugate Islam is Stalinism.
  13. Polygamy ensures alpha-males get extra women, leading to a shortage of women for the betas. Beta-males must either [masturbate] (a sin leading to hell), or form dog-packs and rape or capture kafir women as booty in a razzia, or else self-destruct then they can screw 72 mythical virgins in Allah's bordello in the sky.
  14. Lying and deception of infidels (taqiyya) is encouraged. This may take many forms, including outright lies, feigned moderation, and condemnation of terrorist attacks to the Kaffir while rejoicing with fellow Muslims. All Muslims are victims of some group of Kafirs and harbor grudges against them and against Kafirs in general. Individuals may appear law-abiding and reasonable, but they are part of a totalitarian movement, and must be considered potential killers who can flip in an instant (SJS -"Sudden Jihad Syndrome").
  15. Muslims are forbidden to befriend Kaffirs except for purposes of deceit or where conversion may be possible.
  16. The Koran is Allah's final word and cannot be changed or challenged. To do so is punishable by death. Consequently, the Death Cult can never change or be reformed. The instructions to murder and rape infidels are just as valid now as the day they were written. Since Islam cannot be modernised, the Muslims are attempting to Islamise modernity. This requires spreading Islam in the West and simultaneously preventing any criticism of the cult by intimidation and PC legislation to curtail freedom of expression.
  17. Treaties and agreements with Kaffirs are made to be broken (Hudna). The word of a Muslim to a Kafir counts for nothing in the eyes of Allah.
  18. The world is divided between Dar-al-Islam and Dar-al-Harb (the domain of war, the Kufr lands). Muslims living in Dar-al-Harb must work to disrupt their host nations until these can be brought into Dar-al-Islam.
  19. Muslims have no obligation to their host nations and in fact are encouraged to parasitise them. Welfare fraud, identity theft, forgery etc are endemic in Western Muslim populations, and serious crime against Kaffirs is regarded as normal and justified. Extortion rackets against Kafirs are mandated by the Koran ('jizya' is the Arabic term for 'protection money' payable by Jews and Christians to Muslims).
  20. The attack on the host nation isn't just against its religion and economy, but is aimed at its very cultural identity. Islam is a complete system, including a culture, which Muslims regard as superior (despite all evidence to the contrary) to other cultures. Muslims are therefore required to destroy the symbols of 'Jahiliya' (sometimes sp. Jahiliyya) - non-Muslim culture. In the East this has included destruction of Hindu temples and Christian churches and replacement with mosques, and destruction of Buddhist artwork and universities and replacement with heaps of rubble. This process of cultural replacement is now beginning in the West. The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our time.

posted in Jihadistan | 2 Comments

7th July 2006

Osama bin Laden - Devout Like Hitler

I'm copying this entire post from Truth & Consequences, just to make sure it gets seen. I'm also adding a new category, "Jihadistan." I first saw this term at the Patriot Post, where it is defined as "a borderless nation of Islamic extremists that constitutes al-Qa'ida and other Muslim terrorist groups around the world." The category will include items that address the culture of terrorism, as opposed to the war on terror.


Liberals are stupid. Nay, they are tongue chewing, mindless, babbling, dung-for-brains, idiots. Case in point, their favorite mantra: "Iraq had no WMD and there was no relationship between al Qaeda and Saddam."

We now know what we always figured, that Iraq's WMD went to Syria before the war. So the liberals studiously avoid that argument. But when confronted with the most up-to-date evidence about Saddam's relationship with al Qaeda, gleaned from seized Iraqi Intelligence documents, not to mention the mountain of evidence that existed before, the latest liberal mantra goes like this: "How could Osama Bin Laden, a 'devout Muslim,' ally his organization with the likes of Saddam Hussein, a Godless, secular Ba'athist?"

Where have they been? We answered that question years ago.

First, let's examine the logic of the liberals' assertion. It requires us to make the enormous intellectual leap that Osama is the "devout Muslim" they claim and that the goal of Islamic militants is to purge the world of sinners, heretics and non-believers.

If you accept that argument, then you are of necessity discounting the "devoutness" of the millions of Muslims who have lived more or less peacefully with the rest of the world for hundreds of years. You are associating "devoutness" with mass murder, not a logical inference one should encourage.

Furthermore, if the goal is to purge the world of non-believers, why then attack the U.S., one of the largest God-fearing nations in the world? Islam allows for the worship of God by "People of the Book", i.e. Christians and Jews, though admittedly in a subordinate societal position.

If Osama really wanted to purge the world of Godless infidels, why not look in his own back yard? The city of Kandahar, Afghanistan - the very heart of al Qaeda country - is a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. According to the Times of London it is the "homosexual capital of south Asia (Kandahar Comes out of the Closet, The Times of London, January 12, 2002)". Homosexuality is so prevalent that "birds fly over the city using only one wing, the other covering their posterior" as the joke goes. Some analysts have claimed as many as fifty percent of Kandahar men have engaged in homosexual relations, and in many cases, this is between grown men and young boys, kept as "halekon."

Why hasn't Osama burned the city to the ground in a fit of moral outrage? In the interest of full disclosure, it must be admitted that the Taliban did enforce anti-sodomy laws in Kandahar when they controlled it. Three violators, for example, were forced to stand against a wall, and were crushed when it was pushed over by a tank. Not what one would call "progressive" exactly, but at least there's a shred of consistency. However, it has been claimed that during this period, Taliban leaders hypocritically kept their own male lovers behind closed doors in the madrases.

For that matter, Yasser Arafat, the paramount Muslim symbol of defiance against the West, and the man whose mission supposedly animates all these radical Islamic groups, was widely reputed to be a homosexual, and many believe he died of AIDS. To add to the confusion, Arafat and his PLO were (are) not Muslim at all. They were (are) communists.

So these grandiose claims to the moral higher ground ring distinctly false.

And there's a lot more evidence that has been staring liberals in the face for the past quarter century. Since the 1970s, Hezbollah, Hamas and all the other "Muslim" terrorist groups operating in the Middle East have relied almost exclusively on secular Ba'athist Syria, and to a lesser extent, Iraq, for aid, training, weapons and safe haven. If they can work with the Ba'athists, why can't Osama?

But if logic and evidence don't convince you, how about Osama's own words? In a statement broadcast by Al Jazeera on February 11, 2003, bin Laden said: "He who fights to raise the word of God will fight for God's sake. Under these circumstances, there will be no harm if the interests of Muslims converge with the interests of the socialists in the fight against the crusaders, despite our belief in the infidelity of socialists." So in other words, allying with Saddam's Ba'ath Socialists to fight the U.S. is no problem. Somehow the liberals must have missed this speech.

Finally, there is all the confusion about what school of Islam Osama actually believes in. Most assume he is a Wahhabist. Wahhabism is a strict version of Sunni Islam practiced largely in Saudi Arabia and Qatar, named after its 18th century founder, Muhammad ibn Abd al Wahhab.

But in fact, Osama is a Qutbist. Sayyed Qutb (pronounced "khatab") was a member of the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood founded by Hassan al Banna. While it started as a peaceful movement, Qutb preached violence and the Muslim Brotherhood under his leadership was heavily suppressed by the Egyptian government of Abdul Nasser. Qutb himself was executed.

Osama's mentor was Abdullah Yusuf Azzam, who along with Ayman al Zawahiri (today al Qaeda's #2), and Omar Abdel-Rahman (the blind sheik imprisoned for the first WTC attack), was a member of the Muslim Brotherhood and a follower of Sayyed Qutb. Qutb's Muslim Brotherhood in fact is the ideological font from which has sprung most of the Muslim terrorist organizations in existence today.

Not surprisingly, Osama was implicated in Azzam's 1989 assassination in Pakistan. There apparently was a falling out between Azzam and bin Laden's budding organization over the objectives of Jihad, with bin Laden favoring an all out war with the West (Abdullah Yusuf Azzam, Wikipedia) in which he saw himself as the paramount leader.

And there's the rub. Osama sees himself as the supreme leader of a worldwide movement, willing to murder his own allies, other Muslims or anyone else who stands in the way. And as he said, allying with "socialists" against the U.S. is no problem.

This explains how Khalid Sheik Mohammed, who came from the ranks of secular Baluchi terrorists, came to be al Qaeda's number three and the mastermind of 9-11. It explains how, according to the liberals' own Clinton administration, in 1998, Osama's al Qaeda and Saddam's Iraq agreed to cooperate "specifically, including weapons development."

And this calls into question his entire justification for being. The secular communist and ba'athist regimes he refers to as "socialists" rule regimes infinitely more degenerate than any Western country, and have completely purged belief in God from public discourse. If Osama were sticking to principle, he would line up next to the largest Christian nation in the world, the U.S. of A., to fight off the true infidels: communism and socialism. But Osama is merely another megalomaniacal racketeer on the order of a Mao, Hitler or Stalin, who has sadly found a vibrant currency in the gullible ranks of Islamic fanatics.

But the liberals still haven't figured this out.

posted in Culture, Jihadistan, Politics, War on Islamo-Fascism | 2 Comments

7th July 2006

We Remember

7-7-05

posted in History, War on Islamo-Fascism | 0 Comments

6th July 2006

Nuke the French!

FrankJ is going to love this…

In that eventuality, we should make it clear to the rulers of France that we’ve ordered a new generation of nuclear weapons, and we aren’t afraid to use them.

Kim du Toit has more on The Ancient Enemy

posted in Politics | 0 Comments

6th July 2006

Now This is What Makes America Great!

I was at a gathering today when I struck up a conversation with a man who described his job as a “commute helper.”

“OK, what exactly is a commute helper?” I asked

“I help people have a smooth and quick commute,” he replied.

“How do you do that?” I asked

“I sit in their car, ” he said with a smile.

Commute Helper

posted in Money | 0 Comments

6th July 2006

How Much is My Blog Worth?

From Dane Carlson's Business Opportunities Weblog:

Inspired by Tristan Louis's research into the value of each link to Weblogs Inc, I've created this little applet using Technorati's API which computes and displays your blog's worth using the same link to dollar ratio as the AOL-Weblogs Inc deal.

Mine today is worth $97K, which is pretty interesting considering it's been up for about two months. For perspective, IMAO.us is worth several hundred thousand, and Michelle Malkin's site is worth over $4 million. 


My blog is worth $97,665.42.
How much is your blog worth?

posted in Computers, Internet, Money | 0 Comments

2nd July 2006

Rocket Science in the Chocolate City

You might have seen this one making the rounds; turns out it's true.

Ray Nagin does it again.

Do you remember New Orleans 'Katrina' mayor Ray Nagin? The one that tried to teach 1,200 buses to swim while his citizens drowned? Once again, he has demonstrated his ability to deal with hard realities.

According to The New Orleans Times Picayune there were 50,000 vehicles ruined in Katrina and abandoned by their owners. The largest auto crusher east of the Rockies, K&L Auto Crushers of Tyler, Texas offered to pay the City of New Orleans $100.00 per vehicle, 'as is, where is', an estimated $5 million net to the city. They agreed to bring in 5 to 10 portable crushers, work 6 days per week and complete the job in 15 weeks.

Of course, Mayor Nagin knew better how to do the job and refused the offer saying the city would do the job themselves. It seems that now it will cost the City $23 million to complete the job. The vehicles are still there today instead of being cleaned out 5 Months ago.

Now, lets see if I have this correct. By doing it J&L's way the City of New Orleans would net $5 million. Doing it mayor Nagin's way costs the city $23 million for a net cost to the City of New Orleans of $28,000,000.

This is the same mayor that wants The United States taxpayers to give $50 billion to New Orleans and let him rebuild a "Chocolate City" his way without any oversight or any control.

(Brit Hume reported this on Fox News.)

Verified at Urban Legends Reference Pages: New Orleans Scrap Cars, and it's worse than this piece describes. It's not just the citizens of New Orleans or Louisiana paying for this idiocy - now Nagin's he's got FEMA involved so every American now has an obligation to contribute to his next opponent.

posted in Politics | 0 Comments

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