Every year at this time the Department of English & Comparative Literature at San Jose State University announces the winners of its annual "Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest" in which people submit the worst opening paragraph they can concoct. The contest is named for Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who, in his 1830 book, Paul Clifford made literary history when he wrote: "It was a dark and stormy night …"

This year's winner was Jim Guigli, who wrote:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

copied verbatim from Mullings

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