William Shakespeare's witches in Macbeth had the famous lines:

Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

I couldn't find the nutritional information, but it sounds low-carb.

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

–John Stuart Mill

My wife signed us up for Columbia House's video program, which we soon canceled. That was several months ago.

A couple of days ago, we got another DVD from them. I checked my bank statement, and there are two charges on there this month from Columbia House — the second charge is for a video I haven't received yet. I called today, and they said that I was on their "Viewer's Choice" program; I explained if it was truly Viewer's Choice, I would have chosen not to receive anything from them, and asked them to immediately refund both charges. Their representative told me that they would refund the money when I returned the videos. When I suggested that since they charged me before sending the videos to me, they should refund the charges before they received the videos, especially since mail fraud laws say I have no responsibility to pay for anything sent to me without my request.  However, the representative said it is Columbia House's policy that no refunds will be issued until the video is returned to them.

I asked to talk to the representative's supervisor, and was placed on hold. The representative came back quickly and told me that the  supervisor couldn't or wouldn't help, and wouldn't talk to me!

So to recap, I asked to be removed from their program, and later they started charging me and sending me videos without my permission. Now I have to send them back, and hope that Columbia House both receives them and issues the credits. In my opinion, Columbia House is running a scam.

LOL - Hear the song here.

"Mr. Way Too Liberal For Texas Guy" Transcript:

Announcer: Presenting…
Singer: Real Washington liberals
Announcer: Today we salute you, Mr. Way Too Liberal for Texas Guy
Singer:  Mr. Way Too Liberal for Texas Guy!
Announcer: Only you, Chris Bell, could vote for higher taxes ten times in congress, and despite a record state surplus, run for governor on a platform of raising taxes.
Singer: This ain’t Taxachusetts!
Chorus: Taxachusetts!
Announcer: Congressman Bell, only you could vote to make it hard to deport terrorists then support sanctuary for illegal immigrants so the law can’t ask a person’s legal status.
Singer: Don’t ask, don’t tell!
Announcer: And you voted to let the United Nations oversee elections in America because no one stands up for democracy like the French.
Singer: Je m’appelle Christophe Bell! (My name is Chris Bell)
Announcer: So wear your fancy beret with pride, Congressman Bell… liberals everywhere salute you.
Singer: Mr. Way Too Liberal for Texas Guy
Chorus: Ooh la la

"Mr. Way Too Liberal For Texas Guy" Fact Check:

Today we salute you, Mr. Way Too Liberal for Texas Guy.  Only you, Chris Bell, could vote for higher taxes 10 times in congress…

Vote 82, 3/21/2003
VOTED AGAINST - The Congressional Budget for Fiscal Year 2004 included authorization for President Bush’s tax cut package.

Vote 141, 4/11/2003
VOTED AGAINST - The Congressional Budget for Fiscal Year 2004 included authorization for President Bush’s tax cut package.

Vote 182, 5/9/2003
VOTED AGAINST - The Jobs and Growth Reconciliation Act cut taxes by $550 billion, including raising the child tax credit to $1,000 through 2005.

Vote 225, 5/23/2003
VOTED AGAINST - The Jobs and Growth Reconciliation Act cut taxes by $350 billion, including raising the child tax credit from $600 to $1,000 for 2003 and 2004.

Vote 274, 6/12/2003
VOTED AGAINST - The Tax Relief, Simplification, and Equity Act of 2003 extended the $1,000 per-child tax credit to 2010 and accelerated a refund for this credit to low-income families. 

Vote 136, 4/28/2004
VOTED FOR - This amendment eliminated tax cuts for high income families. 

Vote 169, 5/13/2004
VOTED FOR - This amendment raised the tax rate 1.9 percent on the top income bracket.

Vote 208, 5/20/2004
VOTED FOR - This amendment placed an additional tax on high income taxpayers.

Vote 259, 6/17/2004
VOTED AGAINST - The American Jobs Creation Act provided $140 billion in business tax relief creating a more competitive and productive environment for manufacturing, service, and high-technology businesses. 

Vote 301, 6/24/2004
VOTED FOR - This resolution increased government spending by $14.2 billion by repealing $18.9 billion in tax cuts.

…and despite a record state surplus…

In April 2006, the Office of the Comptroller announced a historic state budget surplus of $8.2 billion in General Revenue-Related funds available.  (Comptroller of Public Accounts, 2006-07 Revenue Estimate for the 79th Legislature: Third Called Session, April 2006)

…run for governor on a platform of raising taxes.

Bell Supports Higher Property Taxes- “He acknowledged that the plan would be expensive and suggested that the property tax rollbacks backed by Republican Gov. Rick Perry and enacted by the Legislature this summer would have to be curtailed to pay for it. (Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 9/23/06)

Bell Opposes Appraisal Reform to Keep Property Taxes Low- “Democrat Chris Bell, one of Perry's challengers for governor, said appraisal caps are unnecessary.” (Austin American-Statesman, 8/22/06)  “I don’t think that legislators in Austin should pass property tax appraisal limits…” (DallasNews.com 2006 Candidate Quiz)

Bell Would Support a Job-Killing Payroll Tax- “Overhauling the state’s business tax is the key to the school finance reform package I would fight for… This business tax overhaul could take the form of either a broad-based payroll tax or a gross receipts tax.”  (DallasNews.com 2006 Candidate Quiz)

Bell Supports Higher Taxes on Employers- “He would fund the salary hike by increasing the rate of the state's new business tax, though he wouldn't specify by how much.” (Associated Press, 9/1/06)

Bell Would Support Raising the Sales Tax- “We might have to look at slightly increasing the sales tax.” (Dallas Morning News, 2/10/06)

Bell is Open to a Personal Income Tax in the Future- “On his watch, Bell said, a bipartisan commission will recommend changes to the state's ‘antiquated’ tax system, but he ruled out, ‘for now,’ creation of a state personal income tax.” (Austin American-Statesman, 8/15/05)

Bell: Anyone Who Says We Don’t Need Higher Taxes is a Liar- "Rick Perry has basically tried to tell people that state government can meet all their needs … and they don't have to pay a penny more. People are waking up to the fact that is completely false."  (Houston Chronicle, 12/10/05)

Bell Calls this an Insult?- “Rick Perry's biggest priority is to pass a tax cut.” (San Antonio Express-News, 3/21/06)

Congressman Bell, only you could vote to make it hard to deport terrorists…

Congressman Chris Bell voted against an amendment to the 9/11 Recommendations Implementation Act that would have strengthened our immigration laws by allowing for the swift deportation of known terrorist.

Vote 516 on October 8, 2004 would have defined that all terrorist-related grounds of inadmissibility would also be grounds of deportability; makes attending a terrorist training camp an inadmissible and deportable offense; and strengthens the grounds of inadmissibility and deportability regarding the providing of money or other material support to a terrorist organization.

…then support sanctuary for illegal immigrants so the law can’t ask a person’s legal status.

In 1997, Bell sponsored a city council measure that would have declared Houston “an immigrant ‘safety zone.’ Their proposal… would ensure city services for all Houston residents, regardless of immigration status.  The measure calls for no financial commitment, but it ensures that the city’s agencies, such as the Houston Police Department and public health clinics don’t ask about immigration status.  To City Councilman Chris Bell, who has agreed to sponsor the measure, it clarifies Houston’s stance on some gray areas linked to the new welfare and immigration laws.” (Houston Chronicle, 6/29/97)

Congressman Chris Bell voted against an amendment to the Department of Homeland Security Appropriations Bill that would have strengthened our immigration laws by allowing local law enforcement to ask criminal suspects their legal status to be in our country.

Vote 270 on June 8, 2004 would have prohibited the use of funds to provide assistance to any state or local government entity or official that prohibits or restricts the sharing of an individual’s citizenship or immigration status with the Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

And you voted to let the United Nations oversee elections in America because no one stands up for democracy like the French.

Congressman Bell voted against barring the use of taxpayer funds to request the United Nations oversee and assess the validity of elections in the United States. (Vote 385, 7/15/04)

Given the right circumstances, liberal feminists, activist lawyers, and judges — who should be impeached for their lack of judgement — will first allow and then defend the cold-blooded shooting of an innocent child.

It happened. Read about it at Townhall.com: When Liberals Shoot Children.

My wife was going to help me celebrate my upcoming 44th birthday with a brand new .44 Magnum (I had to sell all my guns shortly after we married, and I've only acquired a couple since), but since her new job has been postponed for several weeks, we decided to be frugal. 

I debated soliciting funds online for a couple of weeks, but I finally decided 1) I'm shameless enough and 2) I can offer something of value in return.

A couple of months ago, I first saw the Smith & Wesson Model 329, a .44 Magnum revolver made with Scandium, a lightweight alloy. It weighs just a little over half of the all-steel Model 29. Those sculpted wooden grips fit my hand perfectly, so it makes me wonder about the recoil. I'm not especially recoil-sensitive, but ya gotta figure you'll know when it goes off.

(click for larger view)

Here's my offer: if y'all help me raise the funds to purchase it, I'll post a video of me shooting it one-handed. If that's not very dramatic, I'll 'splode whatever large vegetables I can get at the grocery store, and the obligatory water-filled gallon jug. 

You can donate by PayPal, and I'll save your email address so I can notify you when the video is posted. The total cost will be about $950, so as soon as I get $700, I'll buy it.

Thanks for helping!

Does Gracie look annoyed? Yes, she does.

Speedbump annoys her most of the time.

Stolen directly from IMAO.us, because it's funny.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/v/7h3GPc_yMCE[/video]

The David Zucker Albright Ad

Or maybe the spine has been there all along, biding it's time. Boy, that metaphor is really falling apart.

Make sense of it at The Other Side of Kim du Toit.

It touches the heart — really it does. <sniff>

Grab a hankie and head to IMAO.

Read the story at WuzzaDem.

Donate to help Diana Irey at Right Roots!

Note — it wasn't until I donated at Right Roots that I found out that Diana Irey is very pretty — an additional benefit for the poor folks in the 12th District of Pennsylvania, who currently are "served" by what looks like a fleshy old bulldog.

How is this a hard choice?  

Gary has a neat newspaper format… just my two cents' worth. 

The Owner's Manual

Yay! It's finally up! This week's Carnival of Comedy, which I'm calling the Harvest Carnival, since SpaceMonkey won't tell me which number it is. (I got it wrong the last two times.)

My lovely wife is out of town, and since I'm taking care of the girls by myself, I have a good excuse for being late this time — I kept having to choose between taking care of the kids or drugging them and posting the carnival, and I chose to take care of the kids every single time because I'm a wonderful Dad. Ironically, it's a light carnival this week, but I'm still going to be lazy and use the carnival format. That's why they all start with UserName presents PostName, and so forth. Sue me.

Stiknstein presents The Real Thing??..I bet JOLT is better?.. posted at stikNstein….has no mercy. An intro Cocaine, an energy drink with a "fun" name, and a bit of history of the Coca-Cola brand.

Elizabeth presents Meet the master of the lap dance and presidential candidate posted at Creatures of the Earth. I think Elizabeth got us confused with the Carnival of the Cats, which I should create and submit a post for, since I'm a link slut.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents How To Disorganize Your Life posted at MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG. I feel sorry for Madeleine, but also for her neighbors, because step 2 involves dashing around the house naked, and although subsequent steps involve leaving the house, none involve getting dressed.

Miriam presents Guns don't kill people posted at miriam's ideas. A heart-warming story of a granny shooting a would-be intruder, which of course is also funny.

Chris Carlisle presents The Shallow End of the Jury Pool posted at The Dimmer Switch. Boy, I sure want to be judged by a bunch of people that aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Tommy presents Microsoft Yields To Open Source Programming posted at The Kag Report. A dream…

Damian G. presents Mother Nature: Republican Operative? posted at Conservathink. Watch for How-wierd Dean to demand an investigation…

Well, that's it for the Harvest Carnival of Comedy, sponsored by IMAO. You can submit your entry for future carnivals at the Blog Carnival. Contact SpaceMonkey (link at Blog Carnival) if you want to host a carnival. You don't even have to do it promptly or well!