Acme Anvil Co. - This Ain't Exactly Rocket Science

28th November 2007

Consider Huckabee

There is a sudden storm of Huckabee-bashing, and I confess I don't understand it. Dick Morris has a good rebuttal today — Huckabee Is a Fiscal Conservative — and I have my own observations about the rest of the Republican frontrunners:

  • Giuliani is pro-abortion, even partial birth abortion; anti-second amendment, soft on gay marriage, and pro-illegal immigration, but it's okay because he'll appoint "strict constructionist" judges to the Supreme Court.
  • Romney has flip-flopped on gay rights, gun control, abortion, immigration and taxes. How do we know he's ready to stand still?
  • Thompson flip-flop-flipped on the FairTax (he's in favor of it, right now), and by many accounts is lazy (like the story of his vacation in Paris in the middle of defending a drug dealer, giving the drug dealer grounds for appeal). He sounds folksy, though.
  • McCain - Campaign Finance Reform, aka Incumbent Protection Act. Am I seriously supposed to stop blogging about politics the last few weeks before the election?

Of course, I'll support and vote for any of them rather than Hillary, Hussein or Haircut, but I'd rather get a principled, consistent conservative than Not-a-Democrat.

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28th November 2007

The Rooster

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result…The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a Democrat in the making: Who else but a Democrat could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Later, the farmer changed Butch's name to James Earl Carter, or just Al Gore for short.

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18th November 2007

Gov. Huckabee Airs First TV Spot; Opponents Surrender

Watch it yourself — if you dare.

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11th November 2007

What is a Veteran?

I was looking for the perfect Veteran's Day post, and my friend James sent this:

What Is A Veteran?

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye.

Others may carry the evidence inside them: a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg - or perhaps another sort of inner steel: the soul's alloy forged in the refinery of adversity.

Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem.

You can't tell a vet just by looking. What is a vet?

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

He is the bar room loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She - or he - is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another - or didn't come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat - but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

He is the parade - riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket - palsied now and aggravating slow - who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being - a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a soldier, and a savior, and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, the greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say, "Thank You". That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded. Two little words that mean a lot, "THANK YOU."

– Father Denis Edward O'Brien, USMC

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7th November 2007

Even Fred Thompson Doubts He'll Be President

Maybe he's auditioning for the role of the plain-spoken but lethargic vice-president.

Even Fred Thompson doubts he'll be president

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6th November 2007

Do Not Do a Google Search for Chuck Norris

I'm Serious.

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6th November 2007

Maureen Dowd's World Isn't as Funny as FrankJ's

Maureen Dowd attempted an obvious rip-off of FrankJ's "In My World" series, and it's completely unfunny, except for this line, ostensibly from Dick Cheney:

We have done virtually everything we can with respect to carrots, if you will. It’s time for squash. Not to mention mushrooms, clouds of them.

David Brooks does a little better.

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2nd November 2007

If Hillary Wins? Exile Bill

Charles Krauthammer thinks it's unlikely Hillary will win, but if she does, he recommends exile for Bill.

Townhall.com - Two For the Price of One

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1st November 2007

Pastor Rick Scarborough Supporting Mike Huckabee for President

Pastor Rick Scarborough, founder and president of Vision America Action, supports Mike Huckabee for president, explains why all evangelicals should do likewise.

WorldNetDaily: Why I'm supporting Mike Huckabee for president

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