Yay! It's finally up! This week's Carnival of Comedy, which I'm calling the Harvest Carnival, since SpaceMonkey won't tell me which number it is. (I got it wrong the last two times.)

My lovely wife is out of town, and since I'm taking care of the girls by myself, I have a good excuse for being late this time — I kept having to choose between taking care of the kids or drugging them and posting the carnival, and I chose to take care of the kids every single time because I'm a wonderful Dad. Ironically, it's a light carnival this week, but I'm still going to be lazy and use the carnival format. That's why they all start with UserName presents PostName, and so forth. Sue me.

Stiknstein presents The Real Thing??..I bet JOLT is better?.. posted at stikNstein….has no mercy. An intro Cocaine, an energy drink with a "fun" name, and a bit of history of the Coca-Cola brand.

Elizabeth presents Meet the master of the lap dance and presidential candidate posted at Creatures of the Earth. I think Elizabeth got us confused with the Carnival of the Cats, which I should create and submit a post for, since I'm a link slut.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents How To Disorganize Your Life posted at MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG. I feel sorry for Madeleine, but also for her neighbors, because step 2 involves dashing around the house naked, and although subsequent steps involve leaving the house, none involve getting dressed.

Miriam presents Guns don't kill people posted at miriam's ideas. A heart-warming story of a granny shooting a would-be intruder, which of course is also funny.

Chris Carlisle presents The Shallow End of the Jury Pool posted at The Dimmer Switch. Boy, I sure want to be judged by a bunch of people that aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Tommy presents Microsoft Yields To Open Source Programming posted at The Kag Report. A dream…

Damian G. presents Mother Nature: Republican Operative? posted at Conservathink. Watch for How-wierd Dean to demand an investigation…

Well, that's it for the Harvest Carnival of Comedy, sponsored by IMAO. You can submit your entry for future carnivals at the Blog Carnival. Contact SpaceMonkey (link at Blog Carnival) if you want to host a carnival. You don't even have to do it promptly or well!

The winner for the Carnival of Comedy #69 — HollyRhea's post on her days in show-choir! Holly has a wonderful ability to not take herself seriously while involved in a "look-at-me" activity.

Good job, Holly! 

**Update — See below**

***Updated Again — See further below*** 

Welcome to the Carnival of Comedy, brought to you by the relatively harmless folks at IMAO!

We're going to do this a little differently — this post will remain on top for a while, with each submission noted in a separate post below. And in an experiment to see whether you feel like we care about your opinion, you get to vote. And by "you," I mean blog-owners; yep, just like the old days of democracy, where only land-owners got to vote.

Here's what you do — read through all of them, then write a post on your site sending people to your favorite, and send a trackback both to the original post and to my critique here on Acme Anvil Co. If I'm still interested, I'll count the votes after 10pm Central time on Sunday, and post the winner as an update to this post. 

I already hear some of you whining — "But I don't haaaave a blog!" Well, get one. You have plenty of time between now and Sunday. Try Blogger; it's free. Or user WordPress like I do, cause I'm smart. Remember to learn how to use trackbacks.

Keep referring back to this post, and I'll include an update when the reviews are finished. I just included a new category for the carnival just to make your lives easier — look for the link to the left.

Want to be included in next week's carnival? Submit teh funny here or here. 

**Update — Almost finished! Keep checking back! 

***Update again — I'm done! Every entry has it's own post, and they're all in the new Carnival of Comedy category, so you can find the easily. The category is to the left, or you can click here. 

Also, it turns out this is Carnival of Comedy #69, so that's twice I've mis-labeled the carnival. The first time was SpaceMonkey's fault, and this time… well, you get what you pay for.

Don't forget to vote, if it's not too complicated. 

Also — please patronize my sponsors, so I can buy a new gun.

Village Smitty at Hippo Campy presents Sen. Allen Mistakes Sen. Akaka as "Macaca."

Funnyish — I think Smitty is taking writing lessons from FrankJ. 

FIAR at Radioactive Liberty presents I’m Not Xenophobic! I hate Foreigners.

Kinda funny, but then you forgot about the War Between the States, opening yourself up to comments from all sorts of unsavory Yankees. Wait, that came out wrong… I meant to say Damn Yankees. My dear departed dad used to say Yankees are like hemorrhoids — as long as they stay up where they belong, they're tolerable, but when they drop down here, they're a pain in the a$$.

tommy at The Kag Report presents The Robert Downey Jr School For Addiction.

Satire and sarcasm together — gotta love it.

***Warning — picture of Courtney Love might make your eyes hurt. 

Chris Carlisle presents Back to School Buying Guide posted at The Dimmer Switch.

When I got to Chris' site, I remembered that he had teh funny last time I did this, and even with the possibly false hope that brought, I wasn't disappointed.

We learned about Crayons the hard way. Let Chris show you the light…

jldude at my search for meaning, money… presents Confessions of a GTD Productivity Addict.

Plus — we find out what GTD means.

Minus — just barely funny.

Bonus — link to way cool video of how to fold a t-shirt in two seconds. (Hint - origami may be involved)

So, I take a break from posting these to take my family out to dinner, only to find a whiny comment upon my return — "Where's my post?" 

Well, here it is. I'm giving you a five-ping penalty for jiggling my elbow, dude.

Damian G. at Conservathink presents PlayStation 2 comes out of closet; Sony to re-think backwards compatibility.

This is kinda funny, in a gay-bashing sort of way. Not that there's anything wrong with that…

Who said you could go twice? Can we get a ruling on this? I'm not going to read it.

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Those Unspeakable Meetings posted at Mad Kane's Humor Blog.

This is probably how they figured Al Gore would win, too. Evil liberals… they hope we don't pay attention to their wretched plots.

I'm gonna get Katherine Harris to disqualify you! 

Remulak Moxargon at The MoxArgon Group presents If You Want Something Done Right…

…you have to do it yourself. 

Remulak gives us the definitive Lamont campaign video commercial; I won't spoil the ending, but l do feel a lot safer now. 

HollyRhea at HollyRhea presents Get ready. This is a good one.

And althought I was a little worried at first, it is funny. Plus, there's a link to what appears to be a modern, old-fashioned burlesque dancer in the following post!

Cool! A moonbat at our little carnival! 

Madeleine Begun Kane at Mad Kane presents That's What The Law's About: Song Parody About Lawyers, sung to the tune of Hokey Pokey, except the Hokey Pokey had the courtesy to stop after a while.

Some parts are funny; maybe we should vote on which stanzas to delete! 

Steve Pavlina at Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog presents 10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job.

Interestingly, I read this a few days ago following a link. While not exactly comedy, it's a lighthearted look at remaining or becoming self-employed — and it makes a lot of sense.

Alabama Improper presents A Most Improper Idea posted at Alabama Improper.

The idea itself isn't improper, see; it's a running joke because the his (oops) her site is Improper — Alabama Improper, which is probably more improper than normal.

Anyway… you could be a mystery guest blogger if you have a blog, otherwise, it's pointless. And improper.

c.a. Marks presents On Kissing… posted at c.a. Marks.

More of a diary entry than comedy, but you chicks will be glad to hear she found a good kisser. 

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents S**thouse Rats Sue Over McKinney Slur.

Be brave, little rats! Made me remember my dear departed dad who would say "outhouse mouse" when he thought the preacher could hear him.